The Double Standards Of Aging

We know this scenario all too well: a couple in their middle-aged years whose marriage is falling apart. The successful, attractive husband described as a “gray fox” becomes distracted by a younger, beautifully fit female. All while the wife is described as older, less beautiful, less youthful. Invisible. This trope is no coincidence but stems from the double standard of aging shaped by cultural perceptions of older men and women.

Demi Moore in the movie “Substance”, 2024 based on the theme of Beauty & Aging. Courtesy: Mubi

The 2024 film “Substance” starring Demi Moore powerfully illustrates this reality. Moore plays an Oscar-winning actress who is reduced to hosting a popular fitness show. On her 50th birthday, her boss (played by Dennis Quaid) remarks that her age now makes her undesirable:

I have to give people what they want. That’s what keeps the shareholders happy. And people always ask for something new. Renewal is inevitable. And at 50… well… it stops

Exaggerated? Perhaps. But it certainly resonates.

Table of Contents

What is the double standard of ageing?

According to social research, the double standard of aging reveals that women are aged more by culture than by biology. With this double standard, middle-aged men are viewed as being at the height of their sexual attractiveness, where they hold a different kind of sexual appeal compared to their youthful selves. This term was first coined by Susan Sontag in 1972.

A man doesn’t need to tamper with his face. A woman’s face is the canvas on which she paints a revised portrait of herself -Susan Sontag

Culturally, women imbibe that “the standard of beauty in a woman of any age is how far she retains, or how she manages to simulate, the appearance of youth.” This causes women to feel shame about aging rather than embracing it gracefully.

Research

It’s not just imagination that men and women age differently in the public eye. Research confirms this bias exists and is deeply entrenched. A 2021 study published in the Journal of Women & Aging found that women face significantly more negative consequences from aging than men across multiple domains, including professional opportunities, social value, and sexual desirability.

In one particularly revealing survey by Allure magazine, women were described as “old” starting at age 41, while men weren’t considered “old” until 56 – a 15-year difference! Another study from the National Bureau of Economic Research found that women on dating apps experience a sharp decline in matches after age 35, while men’s desirability peaks at 50.

How the old bitch has been able to stick around for this long. That’s the fucking mystery to me – Harvey(in Substance, 2024) referring to the 50 yr old Oscar-winning actress

Maggie Gyllenhaal famously revealed that at 37, she was told she was “too old” to play the love interest of a 55-year-old man. Actress Jamie Denbo was told at 43 that she was too old to play the wife of a 57-year-old actor.

person holding blue plastic container — Anti-Aging is poised to soon become a 100bn$ market. Photo by Nataliya Melnychuk / Unsplash

Anti-Aging

As women age, they not only encounter professional discrimination but also face a complex social landscape where both resisting and accepting aging are subject to criticism. If a woman gets work done, she’s “trying too hard” and “looks unnatural.” If she doesn’t, she’s “letting herself go.”

“For men, gray hair is George Clooney and aging like wine. For women, it’s aging like milk and being put out to pasture.” — Comedian Sarah Silverman

Open any women’s magazine, and you’ll find approximately 42 articles about fighting wrinkles, sagging, and other signs of the approaching apocalypse known as “looking your age.” The global anti-aging market is projected to reach $88.3 billion by 2026, with women as the primary target consumers. Meanwhile, men’s magazines focus on fitness, success, and wealth accumulation, rarely mentioning the dreaded “a-word.” The implicit message? Men get more successful with age, while women need to fight it tooth and nail.

Oseterics is on a mission to inspire you to active and graceful aging. Most of our instructors are 50+, and some are even 70+!

OnlyFans, TikTok, and Beauty at your disposal

Social media’s emphasis on youth-oriented beauty ideals can be particularly challenging for older women, as Western beauty ideals commonly associate beauty with youth, and older adults tend to be underrepresented in media. This creates a distorted perception of beauty among younger adults and adult males. This causes the worsening perception of self-beauty, especially among women who are about to enter their midlife stage.

These platforms have caused a wide range of divisive opinions. While one section believes that it is empowering a section of women, many psychologists have strong consideration of its sexual inclination, causing long-term harmful effects on society, such as a distorted sense of beauty. Overuse and reactions of likes & subscriptions and more have led to self-objectification and lower self-esteem.

In a particularly revealing scene, Moore’s character rejects herself from a potential date, scrutinizing her appearance with such harsh self-judgment that she cannot see beyond her perceived flaws. A chilling reflection of how constant prejudice makes us our own harshest critics.

Men are Victims Too!

In certain industries – especially technology – men face brutal ageism, too. Silicon Valley notoriously worships youth, with the median age at major tech companies hovering around 30. Mark Zuckerberg once infamously claimed that “young people are just smarter,” while tech job listings often seek “digital natives” (code for “under 35”).

Venture capitalist Vinod Khosla once stated that “people over 45 basically die in terms of new ideas”. He later clarified his statement.

Young people are just smarter – Mark Zuckerberg

A survey by job site Indeed found that 43% of tech workers worry about losing their job because of their age, with workers starting to feel age discrimination as early as 40. Research shows that age discrimination is a growing concern as workforce demographics shift, with the proportion of workers over 55 years rising significantly, from 11.9% in 1995 to 24.5% in 2021, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. For many men, having a crisis after years of a career is significant. Men remain the primary providers of the family. Losing your job in midlife & later life is detrimental to your finances, as your kids may still be growing up and may add to more burden if one has to support aging parents.

Unfortunately, even here, women face far more corporate discrimination than men. Women are proven to be much more vulnerable to this and may end up moving out of the workforce altogether.