How to Be Happy at a Certain Age
At what age are we allowed to stop listening to Tony Robbins?
After a lifetime of making decisions, bad and good don’t we earn the right to cover our ears when someone tells us how to have our best life?
Excuse me! Haven’t we already done that? And when we are at an age when we’ve pretty much become what we are or ever will be, how can these gurus help us now?
This morning my big dilemma was whether or not to get my haircut. Yes, I know it’s hardly anything to get into a quandary about. Still, it involved some long-range thinking about when I might go if not today and trying to fit it in between doctor appointments. So at what point would Wayne Dyer, Tony Robbins, Les Brown or anyone’s advice help me make this earth-shattering choice?
Since I’ve spent a lifetime hearing the adage, “Never put off until tomorrow etc. etc.” I now feel perfectly comfortable putting anything I want off until anytime I want.
I have firmly decided that the word ornery as it pertains to older people is in itself justified.
Are we ornery if we simply feel we deserve to make our own choices, plan our own days and see who we wish to see? Is this a flaw in an otherwise kindly and easy-going nature.
How many times have we heard the expression he or she is so stubborn now? I can’t get them to do anything anymore.
You bet you can’t. For why should we? After a life of living up to other’s expectations of how we should act, raise our children, dress, and think and feel a certain way, it’s okay to say no.
I believe it’s perfectly acceptable when our daughters tell us Mom that purple nail polish is too young for you, to nod and say okay and then wear it anyway.
When the lease from my car ran out it had fewer miles on it than a demo. So I decided to buy it instead of leasing again.
My son called and asked me if I had made up my mind this was the best thing to do.
I said yes, I love my car and I want to keep it.
“Okay Mom,” he said. “But are you certain this is the car you want to drive for the rest of your life?”
What am I 90 years old? How do I know? Perhaps in three years I’ll decide I want another car. But I didn’t say that. I knew he was thinking that soon he and his sister would be seriously considering taking away the car keys. Although I have no intention for quite a while.
So yes, now we have established that my kids think I’m 100 years old and have one foot out the door.
But I don’t and will not start to think that way for some time to come.
As poet Dylan Thomas wrote; Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Here, here to Dylan Thomas! But gentle may be the only way you can go when your arthritis is acting up.
Sadly, many of my friends admit their kids see them as old as well. But are we supposed to sit in the house and stop living just waiting around for old Grim Reaper to ring our doorbell?
I wouldn’t answer anyway. Let him think he has the wrong address for a while.
If there is one positive about aging it’s the feeling of freedom it brings. We are no longer constrained by societal norms. Nor are we limited by anything but our own tired aching bones.
As long as I am still winning arguments with my hips and able to scamper along, just call me Bambi.
Please understand I’m not saying that when we’re young and forging our path through life, these gurus can’t make a positive impact. But by my age one should know it’s all a state of mind.
Because others see us as old doesn’t mean we see ourselves that way. Our mirrors reflect a younger us.
Mind over matter is probably more important in old age because if we begin giving into our creaky bones, they get the upper hand.
If our gray hair is all we see, it’s over. If we face the fact our children have suddenly become what they perceive as the parents, we will feel as old as they see us.
I always gave into my children and still do, especially my grandchildren, but I also have cultivated a sense of amusement at it all.
Did Wayne Dyer ever talk about how to get through a day when you are in pain? Did he ever tell someone how to look in the mirror and refuse to see the wrinkles that suddenly popped up on their face?
No, I’m afraid that’s a life lesson one can only learn through experience.
What kind of person we are is formed throughout our life and when we reach the laugh-laugh golden years, we find ourselves falling back on old coping mechanisms. These life lessons help fend off the limitations we may face.
My choice is humor, others may choose golf, pickleball, cards, joining clubs, taking up art, travel or a new hobby.
I have decided grandchildren keep you young. So who needs gurus when you have those adorable little faces looking up at you? Not me, most definitely not me.
So if your kids look at you like you are the Crypt Keeper, if the world sees an old person as you pass by and if you can’t walk as fast as you once did at the mall, it’s all okay.
Even gurus get old and if any one of them has the answer of how to live forever, I’ll buy that book.
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