Am I the only one who has noticed the choices we make about our lives seem to be less crucial as we age?
It once seemed that every time I was faced with a decision the importance was magnified by the fact it may affect the course of my life. Which let’s face it, seemed long to us then.
Now making a choice seems kind of, I don’t know, simplistic.
I’m of course not speaking about the choices that seriously affect our health conditions or life and death. I’m talking about the little things that come up daily that seem so trivial now.
Picking a college, or a profession at that time was quite daunting. After all it could change the course of one’s destiny.
I have noticed today’s young people seem to agonize far less that we did. They are not as locked into forever as we were. They have a shorter attention span to all things.
The go-with-the-flow mentality we always sought to cultivate has landed in our grandchildren’s generation.
They seem far less restricted by the fact they are locked into one path, but can select numerous options.
I have no idea why it was the case, but we had a far stronger attachment to permanence. While we believed you chose a life path and moved ahead never veering, they seem far less invested in forever.
I remember so well how things went then.
Certain life choices were serious and permanent. Well as far as we were concerned.
Things like marriage, how many children, profession, where to live, when to retire and where, were credible parts of our lives to consider and weigh.
It was very different for sure. There were expectations sprinkled with limitations for women.
Men were expected to go to college, get a profession or business degree. Women not so much.
Many women entered college with their parents urging them to pursue an Mrs. degree.
If a girl graduated with an engagement ring on her finger, to many parents that was a successful outcome.
Coming from a home where my father was a devout believer that women were to be cared for and know their place, I never felt I had many choices. However, blessed with a rebellious nature I opted to forego the oft designated and preferred teacher route. “The you’ll always have something to fall back on,” mantra that was drilled into girl’s minds back then.
I became a journalist, which for my time was a bit avant garde. It was a profession in which women were just beginning to feel their oats and a dream of mine since childhood.
Of course, women were expected to quit whatever job they held as soon as motherhood became imminent and be the caregiver in the family.
Most girls of my era never questioned or rebelled against that choice. We were very happy and satisfied in that role.
Still, many did feel there might be something more after child raising. Being more educated than our mothers we felt a slight twitching of discontent. I’m not saying everyone. Most of the women I knew were content to live happily as wives and mothers and make it their priority, as was I. Yet, some felt they wanted more choices for our lives. The Feminist Movement highlighted that need.
After all we’d gone to college, learned, secured professions and wanted to do something more than derive our self-esteem from how white we got our sheets and towels.
Believe me I’m not diminishing in any way the satisfaction of raising a family. Seeing your children grow up happy, healthy and productive human beings is a job of which any women should be most proud. At least I am, and most mother’s I know.
However, we felt that after we raised our kids, new choices should be available to pursue.
And pursue we did.
So many women I knew left the nest they had built and made the choice to begin anew.
Some went back into their profession, some started businesses they had dreamed about and others pursued charity work.
These were important choices and women now seemed to have more of them.
After all the bra burnings, women’s movements and liberation inspiration it became clear the world had changed.
But not just for women. The choices women made now also changed the family dynamic. Men who had come to expect a certain paradigm in the home, were faced with new lifestyles.
Kids found it necessary to be more independent from their parents and learn skills they hadn’t ever thought necessary.
It didn’t happen overnight, but it all happened.
These were life changing choices.
Today what is really so important?
What day or where we play pickle ball? Which cruise to take, or should I let my hair go gray? Where is the best early bird special? Bra burning holds a far different meaning now. The act no longer symbolizes freedom. But the casting off of old worn-out clothing. Elastic can only stretch for so long before it must be tossed.
Figuring out which day of the week to do Physical Therapy isn’t the same as deciding on who you will marry.
The choices today seem to carry far less weight and carry far less consequences.
Yes, I’m aware any choice we make at any age can produce unexpected results, but it seems as you age don’t sweat the small stuff has finally kicked in.
I in no way intend to imply that Baby Boomers live inconsequential lives. No way. In fact so many have chosen to take risks and accomplish goals that are quite impactful and far reaching.
I can’t imagine a generation that marched against a war, for civil rights and witnessed assassinations could find satisfaction in irrelevance.
In the end, I wonder if we should acquiesce to the young of today. I’m looking around and not so sure they can do as good a job as we did. But I’m just too damn tired to fight the world anymore.
So, it’s tempting to play golf, maj jong, travel and choose which safari to experience.
Choice or no choice. I say what the hell, we’ve earned time off from tough choices. So why not just choose to enjoy every minute?
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